Monday, September 27, 2010

Perfectly Imperfect

Nobody is perfect. In fact, its our flaws that make humanity so beautiful, if you ask me. But that’s not to say that there aren’t things we would all like to change about ourselves and anyone who denies that is either lying or has confidence/arrogance most others can only dream of.

I’ve been analysing and assessing myself over the last year or so. I have made a lot of changes and identified further changes I would like to make.

Thing I have changed include life balance and “emotional accessibility” as my sister so aptly calls it. I’ve stopped pushing those closes to me away and stopped refusing to talk about things that cause me upset/discomfort. That’s the change I am most proud of this year.

But now I can stop the bragging and boasting because there’s still a whole list of things I have not yet changed...

I’m impatient. I really am! I can’t deal with waiting for anything. I would like to change it but this is proving more of a challenge than I might like.

I really struggle to “rise above” baiting. Indifference, at all the appropriate times, is what I need. Easier said than done. I’m getting better. I can now be wholly indifferent to that type of thing in a Second Life context – largely because I have such balance now that SL is only a portion of my life – rather than the significant chunk of it. But when it comes to issues in RL, I struggle not to rise to the bait. My sister is being hassled by a former friend of mine and he’s pulling shit to deliberately attempt to get me to bite. Despite my sister and girlfriend both insisting I “ignore it and rise above it,” this is something I really, really struggle with.

I wish I could be more trusting of people – to an extent. I treat everyone new who comes into my life with a degree of suspicion and while I maintain that it’s healthy, to a degree – it sometimes comes at the cost of inviting potentially amazing people into my life.

I’m incredibly arrogant. I know that I am and sometimes I think about things I have said and ask myself, “Why the f**k would say that?”

I act now and think later. Impulsiveness to some degree is definitely healthy – but I think that I have it a little extreme...

So there we go – those are the things about me I would change – and am working no changing too.

What about you guys? If you do post a “things I’d change about me,” post on your own blog... leave a comment with the URL to that post here. Would love to read!

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