Wednesday, September 15, 2010

How Soon is too Soon?

What a remarkably bizarre conversation I've just had with my best friend at lunch.

"How's your lad?" he asked

"He's ok...enjoying school, enjoying having Chloe around, seems chirpier."

"That's good. Does he treat CHloe like a Mum figure or like a friend?"

"Hmm... I don't know."

And honestly I don't.

It's only 11 months since his Mother died and even though she and I had not been together since before my son was born, she was his MOTHER. So someone else coming in in that female role is.... well.. a major adjustment.

I'd said back at last Christmas that it would be at least another year until I introduced someone to my boy as my girlfriend - as someone who could potentially be in his life for a long time.

It has't been a year but I have introduced someone to him in that "role."

But I have fallen in love and have done just that. And it's gone remarkably well. I would never have dreamt of it a month, two or even 6 months after while the wounds were still so, so raw. He still hurts. Obviously. But he's in a much better place than he was a few months ago.

It left me wondering, though, about how he looks at Chloe. There are moments I think he looks to her like a Motherly figure and moments I think he looks at her as his best friend.... perfectly placed for ganging up on Dad.

I don't know, is the "helpful" answer. But I do know the following:-

- He loves her.

- He has fun with her.

- She loves him.

- They respect one another.

- I want my Chloe to be in my life permanently. This isn't a temporary thing or a short fling. It's the real deal and my boy knows it too.

- She's happy. He's happy. I'm happy.

So what do titles and roles really matter?

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