I've had so many awesome messages today after announcing my engagement to Chloe. They came through in the form of comments on the blog, emails and direct messages - some from people I have never met (which is a warm feeling) and some from close friends I have known for many years. So this is just a major "thank you" to all of you for being so awesome.
I don't believe in perfect people or perfect timing. I believe in people being perfect for one another and I believe that sometimes you just know. And that's why I asked Chloe for her forever, in exchange for mine.
I don't devalue anything I had prior to what I have with Chloe. I look at everything in life as a lesson and I think sometimes you just have to accept that some things are not meant to be. It might not make sense at the time, but eventually it might.
I spoke to a former earlier - Michelle. I lived with Michelle some 7 years ago. We were engaged though we have previously both said we knew it would never turn into a wedding. We were young and both desperately wanted a dying relationship to work out. It was give up or take the next step - commiting a future. She said she knew immediately we would never get married and I recall saying the same thing to my sister at the time.
We had a bitter breakup but have recently got in touch again as friends. She is happily settled now and after hearing my news she called and said,
"Wow... congratulations. I'm so happy for you."
It's the most beautiful thing to hear that and know someone genuinely means it - especially when you have been through a lot with that person.
"I don't mean this to sound mean," she said, "But I'm really glad we didn't go there. We just weren't compatible and I can tell how happy you are now."
The conversation went on. She was lovely throughout but it really got me thinking.
I don't devalue anything from the past. I don't regret former relationships. What I LOVE to see is that people I have shared any form of intimacy with have gone on to happy things. It's a good way of explaning sometimes why things don't work out... a sort of, "Hey, I know things went shitty for us, but I'm grateful for the memories and really happy to see that we both moved on to something happier."
Life's roads aren't made for walking alone. But that's not to say you can just walk them with anyone. Some people walk at different paces...
Today I feel as though I finally have an explanation as to why previous relationships from the time I was a teenager right through to in recent years didn't work out. I never envisaged being able to walk alongside those people forever - and they didn't with me. In almost all cases, those formers have gone on to their happy and I have to mine. Some people are abasolutely amazing - just not necessarily amazing for each other :)