Wednesday, November 24, 2010



I’m a straight male. I’ve always known it, never been curious. But I know plenty of people who have faced problems as a result of their sexuality and it’s so disappointing that, in the 21st century, in a time when we’re capable of sending men to the moon, of exploring the inner workings of our bodies with tiny robotic cameras, a time when we can carry out organ transplants and communicate from our home, via video, with someone thousands and thousands of miles away – that some people and institutions (ahem, Catholic Church, cough cough) still struggle to accept homosexuality.

It seems there is a gulf between male homosexuality and female sexuality in how it is perceived too. For example, people perceive female homosexuality to be “cool,” in some cases (often younger people I find). Actually... my former Second Life partner actually pretended to me and everyone else that she had been in a lesbian relationship. It eventually emerged that the supposed lesbian partner did not exist. While that type of white lying is often a trait that you associate with younger women, this was a woman in her 30s and for me highlights the fact that it’s seen as in some way “cool” for women to be homosexual – top the extent that straight women will completely make up lesbian relationships.

However, the reality is that while some with no understanding think it “cool,” for women, there are situations in which gay women and men face real issues. My Fiancee lived with a woman for years. She and I are friends with this woman. Chloe always believed she would spend her life with a woman. She does not refer to herself as homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual.

“Why do we have to be labelled by who or what we are sexually turned on by?” she asks.

Good question.

Instead she explains, “For every 1000 women I meet, I might find 100 attractive. For every thousand men I meet, I might be attracted to 1. That doesn’t mean I should be labelled.”

Couldn’t agree more.

But she was discriminated against based on the fact that she lived with a woman. Her grandparents stopped speaking to her. Some of her school friends stopped speaking to her. And why? Because her partner wasn’t male. What ridiculous and narrow minded discrimination.

Another friend of mine, Andy, came out fairly recently. I admit, I struggled with it for a few weeks. I was used to seeing him with women and I didn’t exactly warm to his boyfriend being around all the time. Turns out that first boyfriend was an asshole anyway... but once I knew he was happy and had met someone else, I couldn’t have been happier for him. He will be having a Civil Partnership ceremony in January and I am to be his best man. He’s fallen in love. But at a price.... his Father no longer speaks to him. And why? Because his partner is not female. And when you put it like that, how frikkin ridiculous is that??

It just beggars belief that in a supposedly advanced society, people are ever treated according to whether they are attracted to people of the same or of the opposite sex. What the Hell does it matter?? What people should be judged on is their character and their work ethic, if you ask me, not on who they are attracted to.

It’s time we started behaving like a 21st century society and put these stupid archaic ideas behind us.

No comments: