Overcoming the Fear of Happiness

Chloe and I have been nervously ecstatic since April. Nervously because the last time we were ecstatic about something like this, it was taken away and it's human nature to be cautious when something has been taken once.

But we've decided to overcome that nervousness and spent last week sharing the good news with family and friends that we're expecting a baby in January. The pregnancy came just a couple of months after a miscarriage earlier this year. Quicker than expected but we'll take that as a gift. And we've been assured time and time again by medical professionals that everything looks exactly as it should this time.

We're being careful though - in other words I am fussing way too much and not letting Chloe do a great deal. (Sorry, babe. I'll stop being so annoying in a few months!).

But in January, we'll be a family of five. The two of us, our son, our daughter and our new baby. A boy or a girl? I don't mind. I just want a healthy baby.

Our Baby Girl

Our daughter will turn one in August and she's just taken her first steps. Yesterday she let go of my hand and took five or six completely unaided steps before falling forwards into the couch, crying a bit, laughing a bit and then doing it all over again. She's been walking aided by her brother for some time and is keen to master the art solo so she can chase him when he's not in sight!

Our Grown Up Boy

Our boy has just completed another year of school and ended it with a glowing report.

"He's intelligent, polite and a real joy to teach. I'm really going to miss him next year," were the closing words of his teacher.

We're so proud of him and of the gentleman he is becoming at such a tender age.

Having children has completely changed me and added a layer of meaning to my life that I could never, ever have hoped for. I get to be me. I get to have my husband and wife time with Chloe. I get to have my business time. But the bulk of my time is with the family unit, where I am Dad.

Dad in my household means: nappy changing, joke telling, cuddling, helping with homework, kissing cuts and bruises better, making the best hot chocolate in the world, answering the questions of the universe, drawing pictures, doign jigsaws, playing chess, playing football, making funny faces accompanies with bizarre noises and just being there.

It's the best job I've ever had. And I'm overcoming the fear of being happy about it.