Poorly Baba

What a day.

Long story short: Chloe called me this morning and told me the baby was sick and she was taking her to the Doctor's. Doctor sent baby to hospital, hospital admitted baby.

I'm now home packing up my son's things so he can go to my sister's for the night before I go pitch up at the hospital for the night with Chloe and my little girl.

Poor little baby :(

Get well soon, Princess

xx

Soul Mates and Friends

Let us simply lie together,

Underneath the sky forever,

Stars will whisper lover’s song

This place is where we two belong.

My son asked me a poignant question this morning.

“Was Chloe your friend first or your girlfriend first?”

“Friend,” I told him. “She was one of my best friends, then we were sort of boyfriend and girlfriend for a while and then we were just friends again. And then we met up many years later, became boyfriend and girlfriend again and then got married.”

“So is it better if your girlfriend is your friend first.”

“Absolutely,” I told him. “Much better... Chloe is still my best friend.”

“So now she is your friend and she’s your wife?” he asked.

“Yes. Husbands and wives should always be great friends too.”

“I think so too, Dad. Cos I really like all my friends and we laugh together all the time. When I get married I want to like my wife just as much as I like my friends.”

That had me reminiscing silently, alone as I drove to work. Every relationship I’ve enjoyed  has be born of a fabulous friendship first and foremost. It’s important to remain friends. Sometimes, when you spend so much time with someone, you can take them for granted. I think friendship stops that happening to some degree.

I love the moments I spend with Chloe because the conversation is easy, the laughter is abundant and we never run out of things to say. Even if we have a stressed out few days or an argument or one of us is feeling a little under the weather for a couple of days, it’s never long until we’re laughing in one another’s company and having a good conversation about anything and everything.

That friendship is the foundation of everything.

The love was always there. It was just silent for a time as our hearts fathomed out what they were really looking for. But it was always there.

Friendship is the foundation on which everything good is built. Friendship, love, respect and understanding. We have it and we’re blessed.

I was moved today by a quote I read by Maya Angelou;

“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world there is no love for you like mine.”

What beautiful words that sum up soul mates so well.

Appreciating Awesome

I've learned something recently: to accept happiness. To not question how long happiness might last or whether there's a catch or who might try to piss all over it. Simply to accept it, to appreciate it and to enjoy it.

I have two spectacularly beautiful and wonderful children. They're so precious to me and I am so, so grateful for them.

I have a wife who understands me on a level nobody ever has before. I don't think I'm the only person to have ever been in love... I'm not trying to brag or boast about it or imply that nobody understands how I feel about it. I'm not the only person to have ever been in love and I know that... but I feel as though I am when I'm with her.

And in the moments I am not with her, my mind wanders to where hers is at during quiet moments of the day just to sit within her thoughts for a moment. She doesn't think I am perfect. But by the same token, she accepts that as much as each of our best character traits complement one another's, so too do our flaws. And that, to me,is what a relationship is all about. It's not about delusions of perfection or flawlessness.It's about two people who love one another's greatest traits but accept one another's flaws and where one's strengths compensate for another's weaknesses.

In previous relationships I've questioned... 'How long can happiness like this last? How long until the novelty wears off?' I've never really just accepted happiness and enjoyed it for what it it. Chloe has taught me to be grateful for what we have and my ability to appreciate the awesome life we've built is making it a happier one for all four of us.

No questions, no querying what the catch is and no worrying that it might end. This happiness, this life, this wonderful family is mine to keep, mine to love and mine to cherish. And I promise you all, my wife, my son and my daughter...  this life is for keeps. These smiles are forever and this love is eternal.

Welcome to happy, folks :) Enjoy the ride!

What a weekend :)

What a weekend! I’ve had an amazing 48 hours – a perfect blend of family and friends time and some alone time with my wife.

Too exhausted for a really long post but thank you to my wife, to my sister, to my children and friends for an absolutely awesome weekend packed full of birthday celebrations.

You lot are amazing.

For My Wife

We’ve taken bricks

And made a home

Where none within

Will feel alone.

We’ve taken time,

Spent it together,

Made memories

We’ll keep forever.

We’ve taken vows,

We’ll hold till end,

My lover, soulmate,

Wife and friend.

Thank you….

                        For everything

xxx

A Party and a Getaway

This week, I'll turn 30. I was hoping it might slip quietly by but there's little chance of that with my son, sister and wife!

I was told this morning (it was an attempted surprise but in order to make it work with my timings/meetings/other plans they had to tell me) that there's a whole weekend of activity planned. Friday night will be a gathering with the whole family and lots of friends. A party, if you will!

I'm surprisingly excited given the list of people I'm advised will be there. My son is really excited too. It will be awesome to see everyone.

And on Saturday myself and Chloe will go away just for a night.

"On Saturday, me and Sophie are going to go stay with Auntie Stacey," my son told me, "So you and Chlo can relax. Stacey said you're going to get mushy. That's disgusting. So I don't want to know about that."

Nice.

But indeed, Chlo has booked us an evening in one of my favourite places and it will be lovely to relax.

No chance of a big birthday passing by silently, it seems.

There'll be cake too, I'm told, though a certain 7 year old was keen to point out, "We won't be able to fit all those candles on but we'll put a few on for you."

Thanks, guys :)

I HATE Cancer

I told my son this morning that Steve Jobs has passed away after losing his battle with cancer. He knows of Steve Jobs from previous Apple keynotes and, from previous talks we’ve had, knows he was also a big part of Pixar and thus responsible for so many of the wonderful films my son loves.

He was down about it – perhaps more saddened than I was! He was quiet as he got ready for school and on the drive in suddenly piped up with:

“I really hate cancer. I know you said I shouldn’t say I hate anything but I really, really, really, really hate cancer.”

What a profound statement for a seven year old to make.

“That’s ok,” I told him, “I hate cancer too.”

“CANCER, I HATE YOOOOOOU!” he shouted.

I felt compelled to join in and within seconds we were both shouting ‘I hate cancer, cancer I hate you,’ a t the top of our lungs in the car.

It felt bizarrely empowering to express that level of hatred for something that has cost both me and my son our Mothers.

“Why are there no tablets you can take for cancer, Dad?” he asked.

I explained how difficult it is to cure cancer, how the cells mutate and how it can spread. He followed and understood quite well.

I told him about the charities working to cure cancer – many of which he has come across before.

Before he got out of the car he told me,

“We should make a book and sell it and give all the money to Cancer research so they might find a cure faster.”

“Great idea, kiddo. What will your book be about?”

“I’m going to write a book with poems and stories in about why I hate cancer so much.”

I kissed him.

“We’ll plan it tonight, kiddo.”

And we will. I will encourage him every step of the way, not just because of the actual donations I’m confident he will raise for charity, but because this will empower him. This will make him feel like he can actually do something about cancer – like he is actually doing something against it and that will go really far in enabling him to process his own loss of his Mother.

Today in particular, I am incredibly, incredibly proud of my little man.

See You Later, Matey

Tomorrow, my cousin and best friend, Craig, will leave the UK for a new life on the other side of the world with his lovely (pregnant!) wife.

It’s a big move but one that is most definitely an amazing one for him and his wife.

So, Craigy boy…. This is the nearest you will get to any sentiment from me. I wish you every success in the world in the new job and I’m really frikkin jealous that as we enter winter you will be coming into summer. And it isn’t even like you can enjoy that either, without going bright red within 15 minutes of exposure.

I’ll miss you. I’ll miss your wise words of advice, despite my frequent reluctance to admit that any of it is wise at all. And the kids will miss Uncle Craig so so much. Save me a spot in the sun though, matey. I’ll be there in a few months for a visit to see new arrival and scope out your new place.

Love ya, bud.