The Result

Yesterday I talked about the girl I'm into, the one who is into to me too but think that my 'heart belongs to' an ex.

Well, using my six year old son's theory last night I put it to her that I don't want anyone else. The result?

Well, I got a kiss. Start, right? However, it was followed by a 'but.....'

"but... I don't believe you."

"You think I'm lying?"

"Not to me. I think you're lying to yourself."

Deep. Over philosophical.

She says she hopes I'm right but that her instincts tell her otherwise and she suggested we continue to see one another casually and that we will both just 'know' when the time is right to step it up.

On one level I'm thinking, 'Wow, a girl who is actively encouraging me to see her and other people casually.' And on the other hands I'm thinking that it undermines how I feel about her.

The good news, however, is that she's interested - definitely interested. At least that's what I could gather from what she said:

"I'm smitten with you. I'm in too deep to walk but I need to know you're ready."

So I'm thinking that's a positive sign....

Simplifying Things - The 6 Year Old Way

My son makes things so simple. It's the beauty of that 'hey, chill out, life's easy,' approach that children have that I love so much about them. At six years old they're not (too) tainted by cynicism.

I was talking to my boy last night about girl troubles. He's pretty popular with the ladies but has decided against 'settling down.'

"No," he tells me, "I don't want a girlfriend. I want to hold hands with all the girls."

I like his style. He's far too young to be tied to one relationship.

My girl troubles centre around the fact that there's this amazing girl I went to University with. In fact, I was marginally infatuated with her while she and I were at University together and we had a few week fling. There was a minor obstacle. She was already taken - by a woman.

Yes, the girl (call her Cutie) is absolutely a lesbian. I was, we discussed later, her 'experiment.' We remained friends long after the 'experimentation' session ended.

Then a few weeks ago she and I got back in touch when she moved back to Manchester. She's recently single having split with the same girl she was seeing all those years back. She's not too cut up over it surprisingly. She's the philosophical type, everything for a reason.

Anyway, the long and short of it is that she and I met up a few times and have been seeing one another. She tells me she's still very much into women but that I appear to be, "A really, really frustrating exception to the rule. I can't work out what it is about you."

I'm not sure whether I should be offended or flattered by that but either way, it works for me. We talked about maybe making something of it but she and I both know I've been cut up over the ending of a previous relationship for quite some time.

"You're not ready," she told me, "Your heart is still hers."

My temptation when people start talking about hearts is to make some sarcastic assed joke about donating organs but I decided against it.

"You're right," I told her.

I made a mistake.

Now couple of weeks later I realise it's actually Cutie I want and I'm not sure how to approach it. I gave my boy the lowdown and he told me,

"Dad, what's the big deal?"

"What do you mean, what's the big deal. I like one girl but I just told her I couldn't date her because of another girl I'm not even with anymore."

"So what? If she likes you it doesn't matter."

"You think?"

"Yes."

He then paused for a moment before continuing,

"As long as you don't want to hold hands with anyone else."


And he's right, surely. I have been overthinking it. Surely, surely, surely, if I know for sure now that I definitely don't want to hold hands with anyone else, that's enough?

I'll soon find out anyway, as I'll be seeing the girl in question this evening.

Wish me luck.