Merry Christmas

Well, I’ve finished work for a couple of weeks to spend some time with my family over the festive period and I will be coupling with this some ‘down time’ from the Internet too.

So this is me signing off until the New Year.

It’s a Christmas of firsts: my daughter’s first Christmas, the first Christmas since my wife became the legal parent of my son and our first Christmas married. So tomorrow will be an exciting day. We’re having both mine and Chloe’s families at our house for dinner so the preparation is well underway already.

Then between Christmas and New Year is my son’s 8^th birthday before we celebrate a family New Year.

It will be a busy one and I cannot wait.

To all of you, I wish a very, very Merry Christmas and an incredibly Happy New Year with friends, family and loved ones.

Here’s to a 2012 filled with joy and smiles.

I’ll speak to you all in the New Year :)

The Simple Things

The things that make me the happiest are the simple ones. Yes, we all love to go on holidays to the Caribbean and we all enjoy indulgence and certain materialisms. But what really makes me happiest is the stuff that some people might consider boring.

I like coming home from a long day at the office and sitting down to dinner. I like helping out my son with his homework and talking to my wife about the day we’ve had. Some people think sitting in front of a movie is dull. But for me, family movie time is some of the most precious there is.

I know of nothing more beautiful than those quiet moments in the evening as Chloe rests her head on my chest on the sofa, as my son sits on the other side of me and we all hold our little baby girl between us. I know of nothing more beautiful than that.

I crave nothing more than the smell of Chloe’s hair first thing in the morning. I love nothing more than the sound of my son’s footsteps coming towards our bedroom on a Sunday morning and there’s no sweeter sound than that of a tiny baby girl giggling to herself from her cot. Could there be anything better?

I think not.

The simple things might not be to everyone’s tastes, but for me they are the most perfect of things in the most perfect of times and I feel as grateful as I have ever felt for anything.

Connections

I believe we only ever truly connect with a handful of people in our lifetimes. We can have close friends, lovers, confidantes… but I believe those we have a real connection with are few and far between.

What I mean by a real connection is one such that you know when they’re down, even if they’re not with you, even if you haven’t spoken to them that day… you just know. You can’t explain how but you just feel it.

You also know when they’re happy. You know when something is going well for them. You feel happy too even if they haven’t shared it.

You say the same things at the same times. You know when they’re thinking about you… You have an intrinsic understanding of how what you say or do will impact them.

When you have a connection like that with someone, you’re at your most vulnerable to them and they to you. You give yourself (whether by choice or not) and you just have to hope they will cherish what you give.

I’ve experienced such a connection but a handful of times.

Fortunately for me, though, one such connection became my wife and the Mother of my beautiful daughter and NOW also the legal parent of my son.

Yes, the legal adoption process for Chloe to become recognised as my son’s parent is now complete. Success!

He’s as happy as she is… and what great timing.

Merry Christmas :)

For Mothers

For my wife, my sister and for all the other Mothers I have the pleasure of knowing.

You are beautiful.

                        Inside and out.

The selfless sacrifices you make for your children never cease to amaze me. You give up your body to them, your heart to them, your soul to them. They become a part of you.

You make decisions not for yourselves solely, but based on what the children need and what the children want.

You inspire me.

You instinctively know when something isn’t right. And what’s more… you know what to say to make it better. You also know when there is nothing you can say to make it better and have mastered the perfect hug to fit these occasions. It’s a hug that says,

‘I wish I could take your pain away.’

But you can’t. You can’t always fix the problem but it doesn’t matter, because even when the damage is irreparable you, yes YOU, make it hurt less.

You turn bleeding knees and bruised elbows into nothing with a simple magic kiss. You pull the silver lining from colds and tummy bugs with sofa based-under-duvet cuddles accompanied by day time TV that make illnesses worthwhile.

You make the best dinners. Even if dinner is just beans on toast, you guys know how to make it best. And even if someone else (Dad included, it pains me to say) tried to make your speciality, even if it is done the same way and using the same ingredients from the same brands, it does not taste the same. It’s missing something – YOUR magic touch!

Mothers, you are wonderful. You’re selfless, inspiring and utterly incredible.

Life in a Day

I watched the Life in a Day film on Youtube this morning. The entire 1 hour and 34 minutes of it. I wasn’t planning to, but from the moment it began I knew I wouldn’t be able to switch it off.

For those of you who don’t know much about it, essentially, on 24^th July 2010, as part of what would become a historic piece of cinematic history, thousands of people videoed parts of their day and answered a few questions. They uploaded these videos to Youtube and then a feature film was produced from the thousand of hours of footage uploaded.

The result is a beautiful snapshot of a single day on planet Earth. It documents our happiness, our fears, our sadness, our hardship, our challenges, our joy, our love…

A particular snippet that resonated with me begins at 1:26:03… the scene in which a man is talking to his wife who is sick with cancer. He says he’s now ‘fearless’ and that way of looking at the difficulty they face is just amazing. If you haven’t yet seen it, you really should.

Personal Accountability

It never ceases to amaze me how many adults struggle with the concept of personal accountability. 

I was taught to ‘own up’ when I’d done something wrong as a child and while it isn’t always the easiest thing to do, it’s something I think it important.

NONE of us are perfect and that’s just a consequence of being human. We do make mistakes. But I am tired of hearing things (from adults!) like:

• - Sorry I’m late, it wasn’t my fault. My brother was supposed to wake me up.
• - I was encouraged by someone else to binge drink!
• - I only eat crap food because it’s what my boyfriend brings home.
• - Our breakup was his/her fault.
• - [Insert anything at all here] was his/her fault.

My son got in trouble at school last week for talking repeatedly during class. 

“You know you’re supposed to listen in class,” I told him. “It’s important.”

“I know,” he responded. “But Kyle kept talking to me.”

“So you’re saying it’s Kyle’s fault? Really?”

He took a moment to think about it.

“No. It was my fault. I talked when I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”

“It isn’t me you need to apologise to, is it?”

“No. It’s my teacher.”

And to his credit, I was informed that the next morning he went to his teacher and apologised for interrupting her lesson.

The point is that he is SEVEN and even at that age is able to comprehend the concept of accepting personal accountability for his role in issues or disputes and for the mistakes he makes.

WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES! But I’m tired of supposedly grown adults who are still completely incapable of accepting the part they played, preferring instead to blame everyone and everything around them for everything that happens. It’s incredibly childish.

/Rant over.

Day may continue :)

For Thee

For thee, my heart.

It’s stitched in parts,

Imperfect gift,

But it’s yours if

You’re sure

That you will keep it.

For thee, my love.

Unworthy of

Yours in return,

But I have learnt

That nonetheless,

You give it.

For thee, my life,

My stunning wife,

I give to thee forever.