What is Love?

I can’t believe I just called a blog post that. What a clichéd title. But this was the question that greeted me at bedtime tonight. Well, it was one of a few, as I tucked my son into bed.

HIM: When’s the baby coming?

ME: Soon, I’m sure.

HIM: I thought she was coming today?

ME: She was due today. But babies don’t always make it on time.

HIM: Isn’t she going to be getting too big for Chloe’s tummy soon?

ME: Well, she would if she stayed there forever!

HIM: So why don’t you just go to the hospital and ask them to take her out?

ME: The baby has to let us know when she’s ready.

HIM: How does she do that?

ME: Well…

HIM: Will she knock on Chloe’s tummy?

ME: Yes!

HIM: Hmmm. Ok. Well, I hope she hurries up.

ME: Me too. Ready for lights out?

HIM: Yes.

I go to turn the light out.

HIM: Wait… one more thing.

ME: Ok…

HIM: What’s love?

ME: What do you mean?

HIM: What is love?

ME: Well… it’s that feeling you get when you really, really care a lot about someone. And there’s different kinds of love. Like there’s the way that you love your son or your daughter, the way you love your friends and the way you love your girlfriend of boyfriend.

HIM: I know that, Dad. I am 7, you know.

ME: Ok…. Silly me. Then what are you asking me?

HIM: What is it made of?

ME: Wow. Ummm. Want to know the truth?

HIM: Yep

ME: Think you can handle it?

HIM: Yep

ME: I don’t know what it’s made of.

HIM: You don’t?

ME: Nobody does, really. We just know how it feels. We never get to actually see it or touch it or see what it’s made of.

HIM: Wow. Never?

ME: No. Never.

HIM: So when you love a girlfriend is it made of a different sort of love than when you love your friends?

ME: Well, we never know what any kind of love is made out of…. We just know how it feels. And it feels different, yes.

HIM: Do you love me?

ME:  More than anything in the whole wide world.

HIM: I know that (laughs).

ME: Do you love me?

HIM: Yes I love you more than tennis.

ME: Wow! That’s huuuuge.

HIM: Yep.

ME: I don’t know what the love I have for you is made of. But I know how it feels…

HIM: How? (cheeky smile… he knows compliments are heading is way)

ME: Well, it feels happy. It feels like you’re always with me even when you’re at school. And I know for sure I love you because I’d do anything to protect you and I’d do anything to make you smile.

HIM: Can I have an iPhone?

ME: I wouldn’t do that to make you smile.

HIM: Aww.

ME: Nice try, though.

HIM: Do you know how I know I love you?

ME: How?

HIM: Because the saddest thing in the whole world would be if you weren’t here anymore.

ME: Don’t think about sad things, kiddo.

HIM: I know and I’m happy too. But I just wanted to tell you how I know.

ME: I know. And it would be the saddest thing for me too. But I told you. You’re stuck with me. I’m going to follow you around even when you’ve got girlfriends… and then I’m going to come to university with you and I’m gonna be so totally uncool… and I’m going to tell all your girlfriends about…

HIM: Dad?

ME: Yeh?

HIM: You’re crazy….

And perhaps that is the most apt explanation of love I’ve ever heard… particularly from one so young – knowing that something is so special to you that life without them would be the most terrible thing you could imagine in your personal life.

And I’m sure we all know that feeling or have known that feeling once in our lives…. 

I Spy

For all the women I've loved and lost... not just romantically, but the friends and family too. For those whose lives simply took another direction and for those too whose lives are no longer lived in this world.

I spy, through the tears that I’ve cried,

Something beginning with ‘end.’

Like goodbyes to a friend

I just wish I’d held tight

And the sunset that marks

The start of the night

And the end of the day

And the end of the way

That we were.

I miss her.

And I spy, through the darkest of nights

A glimmer of hope that it might be alright.

That the pain will diminish,

That nothing is finished

And perhaps,

That it’s all just begun.

No Sign

No sign of our baby girl yet.

It looks as though she may be fashionably late.

Well, it would never do for a Princess to turn up right on time now, would it?

Random Song....

A beautiful version of a beautiful song.

2 Days

 She’s due in 2 days. Just 2 days. 48 hours. And I’ve run through a really long list of things I need (and probably some I don’t) fifteen time overs the last week to check, double check and check again that we definitely have everything.

‘Relax,’ my sister keeps telling me. ‘You’ll buy all that stuff and realise you don’t use half of it anyway! It will be fine.’

What is perhaps more impressive is how calm Chloe is.

‘She’ll probably be late,’ she keeps telling… ‘Just like her Daddy.’

I can’t concentrate at work and I think that by the seventh time I had called Chloe at home to make sure there are ‘no signs’ yet, she was getting bored of the sound of my voice.

We agreed that I should not take any time off until the baby is actually born… mostly so that I can enjoy 2 weeks with my new beautiful little girl rather than a week before and only getting a week after. But now I am starting to think there’s little point in me being in the office anyway as I am getting so little done.

I wonder if she’ll have hair. And how much of it. And how tiny her fingers and toes will be and whether she will look like Chloe or me…. And whether she will have features that remind me of my Mother or my sister and whether she will suit any of the names we’ve been debating over for the last few weeks.

But honestly, I don’t care whether she has hair or not… or how loud she cries in the night or how many times we’re woken up in the middle of the night over the next however many years. I just want her here and healthy.

My little Princess, Daddy and your big bro can’t wait to meet you xx

Brinda Allen - On First Life, Second Life and Death

I’m incredibly saddened to hear of the death of Brinda Allen – second life resident, fountain of all knowledge and a simply wonderful lady.

She left many an insightful comment both here and on Pixel Scoop.

Brinda Allen on Life (First and Second) and Death

At 68 I’m a little older than most… I retired from a rather successful career nearly two years after I came to secondlife. Today I rarely mention Secondlife to anyone… it’s much too difficult to explain.
Kinda like sex…you can read about it all day long and not understand what its about. =^..^=  http://pixelscoop.net/2010/09/second-life-article/

“I come to Secondlife to communicate with people, no other possible venue would allow me the instant intimate connection available here with incredible people from all over the world.” http://pixelscoop.net/2010/10/why-are-you-in-sl-residents-speak/

The magic is... She's your little girl =^..^=
She will adore you until she's about 13.
She will hate you until she's about 17.
She will be the one that you will always be able to count on as long as you live. http://realworldranting.blogspot.com/2011/04/little-girl.html

"Inteligence demands intelligence..
Respect demands respect...
And some folks you just have to leave where you found them 'cause you can't carry everyone with you."  http://realworldranting.blogspot.com/2011/03/guardian-mum.html

 Josue... I'm saddened by the pain of your perceived loss. I say perceived because your friend isn't really gone. She had done all she was supposed to do in this life.
Ram Dass had said to his mother as she lay dying that It's like watching a friend in a burning house...the house will be consumed but we will go on forever. http://realworldranting.blogspot.com/2010/11/loss.html

What an incredibly wise soul.

Wherever the next place may be, Brinda, may you rest there in Peace.

Have Faith in Love

I know you and I see you
When you think that others don’t.

I think of you and get you
When you think that others won’t.

Do not hide your heart, my love,
Be not afraid to show it.

Real love, I swear, it does exist.
And we two, yes we know it.